Monday, December 27, 2004

Riu Sucks

Alissa and I are finally back from our honeymoon from hell. It started out great as we flew down to Cabo San Lucas in first class. It didn't take long for it to go downhill though. The second we got through customs, we got talked into a time share presentation. I thought that was where we had to go to get our shuttle to the hotel. Then we drove a half hour to our resort. We pulled up and it was beautiful. After we checked in, we carried our bags to our ocean view junior suite. We walk in and it's a normal room and I can see the ocean, but I am really looking at Costco. The bed was as hard as a rock. We might as well have slept on the floor, but it was tile. We decided that we would just make the most of it though. The first night we went to the buffet and it was pretty good. Unfortunately, they serve the same thing every night. If you want to eat at one of the other restaurants, you need to get in line to make reservations by 6:30 in the morning. Freaking ridiculous. All of the drinks were sickeningly sweet and had little alcohol in them. Then they only had 3 kinds of beer.

The first full day we were there, we went to another resort to see a timeshare presentation. It was actually great and we got a free waverunner ride and free parasailing (which we didn't get to use). As we walked through the presentation we just felt worse about our resort. As we were leaving the presentation, we got invited to another one the next day. Since we didn't feel pressured and we got free stuff, we decided to go for it. We took our free taxi back to our hotel and then went down to the pool. Unfortunately, the pool area was infested with bees because the waiters dumped all the leftover drinks into the flowers. They also left all the dirty plates all over the place. We decided to go to the hottub instead, but the heaters were broken. At this point, we are starting to feel discouraged. Everyone we talk to is pissed and it just starts growing.

The next day, we got up early and made dinner reservations for the steak house at 8:45. We then walked next door for another timeshare presentation. Once again, the other resort was better. We did get some more free stuff though. Alissa scored a free massage and we got a free sunset cruise on a pirate ship. On top of that, we received a pass to use their facilities for the rest of the week. We decided to stay at this resort for the next several hours to enjoy a bee free pool and warm jacuzzi. Alissa enjoyed her massage and then we walked down the beach to redeem my free waverunner. It was a long walk to town, but it was ok. It was nice to be away from the Riu. The waverunner was fast and a lot of fun. I rode it to the famous arches and just rode around the Sea of Cortez. After my half hour was up, we walked into town to look around until our sunset cruise. They had a nice mall to look at. At 4:30, we boarded the buccaneer Queen and set sail. We had a nice 2 hour cruise and watched the sunset. When we got back, we finally got to enjoy our steak dinner. Despite being seated first, we did not have our order taken for about half an hour and then we finally got our food an hour later. As I ate it, I started to feel sick, but I figured it was just because I was so hungry. Nope, turns out I got food poisoning. About 1:00 in the morning I threw up so violently that I pulled my rib muscles and broke the capillaries in the eyelids and forehead. I threw up again at 5:00 in the morning, but all over the bed and carpet. It was not good. Alissa got sick shortly after that and we spent the next 36 hours in bed. We couldn't get a hold of the doctor and just wanted to go home. It took almost 12 hours to finally talk to the doctor. He had a pharmacy deliver us some medicine. We got to drink pedialite to help us recover our lost electrolytes. We also ate a lot of crackers.

The rest of the trip, we just couldn't stomach any food. We pretty much ate crackers and bottled water. I wouldn't recommend the Riu Palace to my worst enemy. It is just not a good place to visit.

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